Thursday, January 5, 2017

I Am Enough.

One of the ways I sabotage myself, self-doubt.

"I'm not good enough."
"That's too hard."
"Why would anyone want me?"
"What if I'm not good enough?"

It is easily one of the most detrimental things I do to myself daily. Let me tell you, it's even harder as a mother.

I'm trying to do everything as best as I can---but everyone has so many opinions about everything you do!

"You can't spoil a baby" - "You're spoiling that baby."
"You need to push them harder. They'll get it." - "You can't push them too hard, it will discourage them."
Spanking - Not Spanking
Schedule - No Schedules.
Do it my way - Not the way you are doing it.

With so many opinions, you just can't help to self doubt. Everything is so competitive, who crawls first, who walks first, how long you nursed, who potty trains first, who reads first....

I'm done with it! When did our children's developmental milestones become our successes?

My children learned to walk, talk, potty, and read... when they were ready! It had nothing to do with me. The only thing I can control - being the best mother I can be to my children each day. I learn each day how to do better and be better. They are forgiving and love me despite my learning bumbles.

I support them, I encourage them to explore, I encourage them to make mistakes, and I help them learn from those.
I share my love of Disney with them.
I share my love of reading with them.
I share their heritage with them through food and language.
I share my love of singing too loudly to musicals.
I share with them the engineering basics of building forts with the couch cushions.
I share lots of hugs and kisses.
I share my love of donuts....

The other night, after a particularly hard day back from winter break, I was falling apart at the seams. Self doubt crept in. My husband shared an observation with me: When I don't worry about what other say and think about me, I am confident, I can take on the world. When I start listening too much to others, self doubt overcomes me and I sabotage myself.

That's when my depression begins to overtake me and I question everything. Am I a good enough mother? Am I a good enough wife? Am I a good enough person?

This is Satan's world. His world will always seek to tear us down. I have faith that Christ is stronger than all of this. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

But I will also learn from this. Just as everything in life, I take it one day at a time, improving each day! So say hello to a more confident me.

The me that wears matching character shirts with her kids. 

The me that works her rear off to take her kids to Disney World every year. 

The me that dreamed of being a stay at home mom and is blessed enough to live that dream!

I am enough! I can do anything! I am a great mother!

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